Friday, November 20, 2009

It's Complicated Isn't It?


Just have a sudden feeling of writing this down. Many of you have dated before, I assumed unlike me. How does a relationship start? Is it by phone messages or phone calls or even face to face asking? I’m really curious here. Will a girl accept dating a guy through phone messages? Or a guy asking a girl to be his girlfriend by a simple call? Where’s the sincerity in that? Of course if I don’t like you, even with there are 100 buds of roses in your hand I would probably say No too. Also, if you only knew someone for only awhile, would you ask? I know how relationships aren’t measured by time and how love can happen anytime.

BUT….I don’t think I can accept it. I know there’s this dramatic fantasy of falling in love on first sight which is very unlikely to happen in reality and while for me, I might consider myself in love with someone but I might not easily get into a relationship with him though. Or just maybe I’m commitment-phobic. The thoughts of me dating with someone just scoff me off. Not that I wouldn’t love to have someone always there for me to cheer for me and talk to. That is why I have a feeling I am going to remain single forever.

Not that I’m ever worried because I can live being single just fine which lead to the confusion that I am worried thinking why I’m not worried at all. Does any of this even make sense? Never mind me if you don’t understand. At least I understood what I said myself. Or maybe some crazy thought just got through my mind and I say “Yes!!” without thinking it through and the relationship works.That would have made all I have written totally bull but I guess we will never know till it happen right??

But I do want to fall in love. As in falling in love like a never-ending fall kind of fall. This is why I am steadfast in my decision to never settle for anything less than what I expect from a boyfriend. Some may think it’s ridiculous, yes I know I am but even so if I truly meet someone who would make me smile just by appearing in front of me or make my day just by a simple message, I wouldn’t want anything else. Seriously, I know that once you meet ‘The One’, all expectation on what you have on a guy would disappear. He maybe sloppy when you want a boyfriend that is neat and you wouldn’t even care because in the end you love him more than his bad points. At least that’s what my friend told me when it comes to her boyfriend. She ended up with him because somehow she is in love with him. I think that’s sweet though…hahaha.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about this. I look at couples and I won’t say I’m not at least a bit jealous because I am. Feel like going “Awhhh….how cute” when I see couples but some are way over when it comes to PDA which at that time I will be going “Ewww…..” Save some actions for the indoors will you?

I feel like hitting myself on the head sometimes for reading too much romance novels, watching too much tear-jerking K-drama and J-drama and watching too much sappy romance movies. For all I know, dating isn’t all romance and as seen from friends that have dated, I can only assume love is part happiness and part misery. If you watch movies then you may have heard of the phrase “To love once is better than none at all”. It may be true but until I find someone to love, there’s always my family and friends who I love forever. So I guess, I’m in no hurry at all…but if there’s one appearing I don’t even mind if it’s right now...^_^



Ting said...

totally agree with u and i totally understand your sentiments as well...we read and watched too much romance

LiLing said...

firstly, mine is through sms and phone call. guilty right at the first para. lol!

sometimes stories from novels and movies are really too good to be true but u'll find your true love one day! believe it and u will. :)

misery is part of loving. makes the love life more colourful!