Monday, July 09, 2012

ICXRI 2012

The ICXRI 2012 participants and organisers.
Having passion on something is great.

After attending my first science conference, ICXRI 2012; an International Conference of X-ray In Research and Industries, I felt that I have so much more to learn. 3 days of sitting inside the Vistana hotel ballroom listening to a bunch of researchers and students; old and young does give a certain perspective on material engineering. I find out that what I learn for these 4 years were just too shallow. There's so much more to learn and science even in material science is such a wide field waiting to be explored.

It's amazing how people have great ideas and visions. It is a really great experience and a chance to see how passionate people are in creating new things and being happy. Having passion matters because if you're not passionate in what you do, you'll hate it. 

Listening to the researchers and presenters giving their say on the fields they are working in is interesting, educational and eye opening. (Not all of them though. Some are just plain boring.) Having good food for tea breaks and lunches didn't hurt either. Meeting new friends along the way and learning something new about oneself.

The presenters seems to have a lot of fun in what they were doing; researching and traveling. You can do something you like and have fun at the same time. When will I ever feel that passionate about something?

I went to ICXRI 2012 because my lecturer registered me for it. Without that, I wouldn't have thought of joining considering it is RM450 to join a conference. I committed myself to go in and learn something and realise a stubborn part of me refuse to change. It's like I'm still stuck in that small world feeling sorry for myself and not wanting to step outside the box.

I meet some interesting characters, PhD students/lecturers who were dedicated and enthusiastic on their work. People who realise the value of simply happy. I hope someday I can find the same passion and dedication to be happy as well whether I'm working or studying. I hope maybe one day I can continue my post-grad degree to but for now I'm taking the easiest route of entering the working life.
Seniors from UniMAP at both ends and the two girls are PhD students I've just got to know.
The postgrad seniors from UniMAP at the conference. I get to tag along.
Poster presentation of my thesis hanging with other posters. Kinda make me proud even though mine was petty and lousy in terms of quality.
The Poster I made.

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Sometimes I really wonder. Do I actually put on a facade to face people at times.

Is it really the genuine me or am I just hiding under that kind, considerate image?

It's not that I'm mean and spiteful of people but sometimes I truly envy people who can speak their thoughts easily. I find myself caring too much of what people though about me to speak the entire truth. I'm always afraid that people might think less of me and have a bad opinion on me. Of course sometimes my mouth ran first and you'll find yourself regretting words you said to people.

So, it's a matter of I'm too thin skinned and timid. I care too much on how people feel about me until I forgot that I should care about how I feel abut myself too.

All this time, I always put into consideration how my parents would want me to do before I think of myself. Truth to be told, I based my decisions sometimes on that and it gets tired sometimes and you start thinking you should be selfish. But in the end, it's not always about what you want and is what you need.

I just need happiness. I don't need to be bloody rich and famous. I just want to be happy and sometimes, I can't even feel that. Making decisions are never my strong points. I take people's opinions in and sometimes I don't even know if I'm making a choice by myself or according to someone else's opinion.  I don't believe that diverging from a path you already planned will make you unhappy though. Sometimes I guess jumping blindfolded seems to be good. I just wish at times, I have the guts to do just that. Being happy is such a simple thing yet so hard to be.