Am I a failure...or not???

It's really funny really...these days nothing seems to feel good to me...I wish I am learning from my mistakes but I'm not. Examinations are just over and I totally flunk them....I can say I regret myself not studying more but it just seem I can't learn a lesson that last minute studying just don't work....It don't work...seriously.....but I find myself so sad that I couldn't get the results I have hope for....I didn't do well in Chemistry and I know it is my own fault....I should have done so much better....it my favourite subject for heaven's sake...my best subject and I just have to screw up this time...I was really hoping to at least get a prize for that subject....it seems I am destined not to get any prizes for as long as I am in my school...Okay maybe that was way over the board...we make our own destiny!!!....Maybe Fates lay out the roads for us to choose and it is up to us to decide which path we will go....Yes, Destiny is drafted out for us but it is up to us to actuallygo with it's plan...(okay I'm out of my topic)It's just so damn frustrating....I am KILLING myself her....I hate this...I can't concentrate...sometimes I find myself thinking too much....I go to tuition the suddenly I'm thinking about how i'll do this and that tomorrow.....am I breaking down?? Next week is probably going to be the most hectic week this year....Maybe there are still more hectic ones to come...Next week there is the Curriculum day that I have to prepare for to represent my club...then I have meetings...like the Librarians meeting and the club meeting...I'm in charge but I don't know what to do...I feel so angry that I don't know what to do...others can do it why can't I.......I hate this weakness okay..... then there's Georgian Idol...I still can't accept the fact that I have gotten into the finals...FINALS...can you believe ME...me have gotten into the finals...I am considering pulling out because I really feel I will embarass myself on stage...I'll get all tongue-tied and freaked out Big time...I don't want ot do this anymore......then there's the prom night..I have been waiting for it for a few months but suddenly I feel I don't anticipate it anymore...I don't know why....ya well I'm still thinking of my shoes,my hair and my outfit but there just something lost in the anticipation..it's like I don't have the enery the spark anymore...I feel really tired...i think I want to cry...well I'm not crying...I want to but I can't...I don't know why...My weaknesses are my key to my strengths...or are they...I'm falling apart.....this is it.....