FB stalking and friends

You know what? I love stalking people on Facebook. Not really stalk more like see how they are doing lately. Like go see their photos and check out some cute guys in their photos or look at the places they visit…LOL. I have a lot of friends (shall we say acquaintance since I haven’t met them so long I don’t know if they still consider me a friend or just an ex-schoolmate) on FB that I haven’t met in years but still it’s nice to see them doing well and having fun. Sometimes I tend to get envious of them because unlike them, there’s really nothing much happening in my life. Aside from being envious, I’m really happy for those who are having a blast in their life and fulfilling their own dreams. I wish I can too.

Right now in my life, I’m not really close to anyone except a few close-knit friends. I’ll like to be someone who is confident enough to wave down someone I haven’t seen for a long time by the street and ask him/her how they are doing. Someone who has a lot of friends and know a lot of people. Sadly, I’m someone who assumes people wouldn’t recognize me because I am not really someone who will give you a strong impression in life and is easily forgotten. So I wouldn’t say Hi unless the person recognizes me and call me first. So if anyone of you who recognize me when you see anywhere, just call me. I’ll be glad to know there are people who still remembered me from those old times.

To be frank, I don’t easily open up to people but once in a while if you really listen then you’ll find out some stuff I don’t usually tell people. Nowadays, I always reminisce about when I was a kid and a teenager and how I wish I have pictures to go with those memories. To be able to recall back on how I was when I was small would have been fun. The more I grow up, the fuzzier my memories are becoming and I’m afraid that one day, I’ll forget all those good old times when I was growing up. So from now on, I’ll take photos to make sure I can still remember every little detail and blog about it so that I can read about it myself whenever I want to reminisce.

....

Of careers and ambitions

Speaking of frogs and wells, I’m kind of worried about the Industrial Training I’m having next year. Since my knowledge on this kind of training is rather limited, I’m kind of afraid of making the wrong choice or getting into a kind of work I don’t like. The more I study, the more I doubt whether I’m capable of doing this line of occupation. I am not really comfortable with all those mathematical stuffs. I’m afraid one day I’ll screw up something when I work in a company that requires precision accurate stuff and I got the numbers wrong? But really…what does an engineer do? The blur I still don’t get the exact occupation I’m currently pursuing.

If you ask me....I’ll tell you I don’t know what to do in my future. I’m either not good in something I like or dislike something I’m good in or the thing I'm good and like doesn't earn much. Till now, if you really ask me what kind of career I actually want, I can answer you a few. There are impractical but fun ones, realistic but boring ones and fascinating but costly to study ones. Once I wrote in an essay I wanted to be a teacher which I don't because the truth is I wouldn’t teach as the students will probably doesn’t get what I teach because I just get nervous standing in front doing the teaching. A doctor is not possible because I don’t think I’m critical enough and smart enough to be a good one and if you aren’t good at something, I figure you shouldn’t do it. Like those half-quality doctors and teachers out there. If I do something I want to be the best not some half-measured fool.

What happen to my dream of being a pharmacist? Poof...that dream has gone away with my meager SPM results. Whatever happened to the dream of owning my own bakery or a wedding studio? Or even to become a travel journalist and travel around the world to see different places or a writer who writes stories that becomes bestsellers?

Those are the dreams of a little girl with too much imagination in mind. There was once a girl with plenty of imaginations and ambitions. That girl is still hidden in me but those dreams you have, you’ll realised sooner or later that it have to be realistic to achieve. The practical and realistic Virgo in me makes me think of everything I need to have to make a dream come true.

It’s not as easy as just a wish under a star that can make your dreams come true. Every dream that came true requires hard work and determination which I don’t have much. Of course since I am born so close to the stars of Libra, my imagination never cease to run amok. I’m always dreaming things can be so different. So I guess maybe I should live life thinking my dreams will come true someday no matter how unlikely it is because if you can dream of it then you can live by it. Does that even make sense?

...

Boring or not it’s up to you.

Local public uni life is just so boring. Are all uni lives this boring or is it just us? Whoever who said that it’s fun? All I ever do during this uni period is wake up, go to class, lunch, class again, dinner, stay in room online & watch drama or do homework, then sleep. This sort of routine life keeps continuing every day. Isn’t it absolutely boring? Maybe it’s just me. I don’t see any other people complaining. I should be thankful for being able to get into a local uni. Still, there always heaps of things to be done and whenever I take a break a day to watch some K-drama, I’ll find myself with tons of things I haven’t finished.

While private institution is much more lenient entertainment wise, it’s because you pay for it. You pay a couple of ten thousands to enjoy that’s why it’s fun. You pay to surf unblocked internet, you pay for better food, and you pay for good accommodations. $$$$$, it all comes down to money. For people like me, resigning to this routine life is necessary. Whenever I totally can’t stand it, at least I can go home to Penang. Good thing I didn’t get places like Pahang or Terengganu. I’ll perish there. In fact, if I have gotten to a local uni at the eastern side, I wouldn’t have gone there.

I don’t know why I complain so much. Maybe it’s because this is my blog and I can rant all I want. Truthfully speaking, it is not always boring here. You meet different kind of people and have to deal with all sorts of attitude. I have met new friends who taught me to see things differently. Brand new experience for the ‘katak di bawah tempurung’ me. I like meeting people and observing them but frankly I don’t like speaking to people unless I want to. Living in uni gives you an insight to how to deal with people and learn to deal with yourself. The frog would have been stupid because it refuses to see what the world is like but like the frog, isn’t living in the well just like me living in my comfort zone and never wanting to ever leave? So I guess I’m taking a step out of the well, no? It’s because I would love to see the world and all of its differences and learn more about humanity.

Shopping...

Okay, here's how it goes...

Shopping is never ending...

So, today I went shopping again.

Bought a few t-shirts and a jeans skirt.

Although I didn't pay a cent.....thanks to Ju ^^

I would have loved it if I saw any shoes to buy.

Had real fun trying on clothes

If I had more money, I would have bought dresses...

All those frills and puffs are so cute...

Of course if I had more money, I would have bought way more things,

Like A BLOODY TICKET TO SUJU'S CONCERT !!!!!

Sorry...I'm kind of a bit annoyed because there's never enough money to spend it seems...

.....

Dear friend

If I said that it doesn't hurt then I lied.

Every time I thought my feelings have faded away,

You have to appear again.

Yet a simple hello from you cheers me up,

Even if you will always be just a friend.

You know I'll forever be happy for you,

Because I'll always remain a friend and

If you want to know,

I'll forever keep a little space for you in my heart...


....

You Are My Melody...

Recently as in this few days, I have been listening to DBSK’s You Are My Melody a lot. A lot as in I keep repeating it. The way their voices just synchronise with each other is just amazing. The combination of all their voices just made the song so great. The lyrics are meaningful and the melody is nice. When I first listened to the album I was more attracted to faster tunes like Mirotic or Crazy Love but now I’m more into the slower songs like Love Bye Love because I can clearly hear DBSK’s soothing voices and their strong vocals.

Here’s the translation of the song You Are My Melody that I love so much.

Closing my eyes, listening to the sounds around me
Your soul, your tiniest thoughts
I couldn’t hear them because of the static in my heart
I’m sorry, I’m sorry

The times when you shed tears is now history
Don’t worry because

You’re my melody
I’ll perform for you (on and on)
You are my song
The soundtrack in my life
I love you
You lighted up the stage of my life
(I’ll sing it again) You’re my song

I’m not willing to say ‘I’m sorry’
I’ve got lots of pride yet my heart’s empty.
When my soul runs dry
When everything falls apart
Will you come to me

The sad times will end like a song because

It’s your love your love
You told me the meaning of love (and on & on & on)
You’re my rhythm
A gift in my life
Giving me beautiful dreams
Always by my side
I’ll sing it again
You’re my song

The many sad love songs
Seem to be singing of us

Protecting me by my side during this time
You are more important than anything

Listening to the sounds around me when I close my eyes
I’m calling out to your heart now
You’re my melody
I’ll perform for you (on and on)
You are my song
The soundtrack in my life
I love you
You lighted up the stage of my life
(I’ll sing it again) You’re my song
It’s your love your love
You told me the meaning of love (and on & on & on)
You’re my rhythm
A gift in my life
Giving me beautiful dreams
Always by my side
I’ll sing it again
You’re my song

Credits to DBSKer Translated by: Sparkskey

I heart Korea...

Some people just don’t understand why I like Korean songs do they? I think my roommate finds it weird how I only listen to Korean songs these days. I was listening to DBSK’s Love Bye Love and she says the song is weird. What is so weird about the song? It’s nice what.

What is so weird about me listening to songs in Korean? I know it’s a language that I can barely understand but why is it even deem weird? Music has no boundaries. It doesn’t matter what language it is in. I love the melody of Korean songs and the way it in Korean sounds foreign yet familiar because I don’t have to understand the language to understand the feelings of the songs. There’s nothing weird in that and DBSK totally have one of the best voices way better than most Chinese singers.

I only recently in these few years actually listens to Korean songs. When I was just a kid, I grew up listen to mostly English songs and very few Chinese songs. When I was in primary school, I started to listen to more English pop songs and pretty much fell in low with pop songs, still like them. When I was in secondary school, it was more of Chinese songs and less English songs for me. I always love Japanese soundtracks which are aired on TV and those anime soundtracks since I was 9 I think. Korean songs weren’t even in my playlist till I was in Form 5. Friends introduce me to DBSK and I fell in love with Korea. I may not know the language but it’s not wrong to listen to the music that seems so meaningful to me. I listen to all sorts of music as long as it fits my mood.

So, don’t say the music I listen to is weird until you understand how music is my life and how the music inspires me every time I feel like giving up. Not that I mind people saying I’m weird. Weird=unique Hahahaha…It just means people are saying I’m…ahem…special in my very own way. Probably just mean I’m crazy individualistic. Kekeke.