Happy Birthday To ME!!!!! Haha...

Yep...its my birthday....the 21st of September.....my feeling today contrasts to my feelings on Tuesday so much. I finally calmed down after accepting the fact that I'm a sore loser and don't take failure well......Well, today's my birthday and I feel so much better. I woke up thinking "Hey it's my birthday..." I'm really honoured a lot of people remembered my birthday....those who sent those midnight smses...thank you...Those who sang birthday songs for me...thanks and of course to all those presents and angpau....thank you very much....I had a great time today.....at school a lot of people wished me Happy Birthday.....during recess I think was most shocking, my friends at school took out a brthday cake and sang in the canteen a Happy Birthday song...I ate cheesecake...yummy my favourite.....Wan Yin gave me a jelly mooncake as a gift really nice...

My mom bought home a walnut cake and creampuffs and cheese tarts for me on my sweet 19th birthday and.....oh I think I have died and gone to heaven.....but gosh all those food is really fattening....fattening but definitely heavenly haha.....In the evening I went to Hui Ting's house for a swim...I love swimming....We swam and kid around.....Once again another birthday cake and guess what...it's a cheesecake....It's really delicious and they (Hui Ting, Hui Ping, Siaw Ping, Juin and Jane) prepared pizzas, jellies, chocolates and chicken.....fattening but delicious....It was really sweet of them and they gave me a present as well....I had fun....we sang karaoke style and talked about almost everything....from primary school to now.....I think I laughed a lot today....I was happy and well that made me forget about exams and everything else....what's life without friends.......I'll never survive without them....Everyone that I want to wish me Happy Birthday did and I'm so happy no one forgot about it....Thank you so much to everyone and my birthday wish this year is that I hope everyone will always have happiness in their lives and stay happy always...

My birthday cake....

Food...food...It's yummy yet sinful...hehe

So, Happy Birthday To Me!!!!!!!!!! (It's over already...it has already passed 2 in the morning...)

September...a month of woes or joy???

This is definitely not my month this year....I always love September the most of all the months simply because it's my favourite month and it's the month of my birthday....This year I hate it. I hate it because I screwed up everything. I hate it because I am such a failure this month. I hate it because I'm failing my exams. I hate it because I know I could have done better. I have it because I didn't try my best. I hate this...Never have I despised myself so much for failing my exams...it's clearly because I was lazy and while others were striving to get better results I was sleeping all the times and not really concentrating. I hate myself for being such a moron this month...Maybe all this while for being a moron... Chemistry is my favourite subject since Form 4 but I never really done well in chemistry yet I really like it...but now I did so badly in it I just want to give up...I did so badly in all the subjects I feel I am just not good enough in this...I really want to give up now you know....I've studied for almost a year and a half in Form Six but I feel I haven't done anything here that I really think is worth it. But Form Six is a chance to go to a local university and I can't afford anything else unless I can get a scholorship which is only possible with good results...with results like mine where can I go?? Futhermore, it's a chance to prove to myself that I am good at something....that I'm good at something......I'm capable of doing something yet it seems I didn't put all my effort in and I'm so fed up of myself...so fed up with my own attitude. I take things like it is nothing yet it is something. I'm so tired of being so cheerful all the time being so optimistic...I really don't want to do this anymore...I just want to cry......I feel like crying yet I can't cry. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never wake up......I can't do this anymore. There's just two months left...two bloody months to exams and I'm not even prepared to face it...Let's just face the truth that I'm not smart...I'm not clever.....I'm just lazy and stupid someone who thinks she's good nut she's otherwise....Gosh I feel like dying....my heart is breaking and I feel so so down.....Life isn't all that smooth isn't it...... There's no use in stopping now....never do things in half measures.....I'm going to try but I don't what this would come to......how it would end....I just how I can try to improve myself and have more self-discipline in studying....I just wish I can concentrate and do this......

Rain...rain and keep on raining...

It's been raining for three or more days....if this continues I think a lot of places will be flooded.... I went out yesterday and well it rained too. Went to Queensbay Mall to watch a concert...it's free so I thought I'll check it out....My friend, Hui Ting drove us, four of us me,Hui Ping, Renae and herself there and we went in the mall for a meal.....first we were thinking of having McD but well since it is a Saturday evening and there's a concert going to start outside the mall, the place was pratically crowded with people. Then we decided to have dinner at Sakae Sushi.....it's a Japanese restaurant...this is actually my second time to a Japanese restaurant.... I'm pretty stingy so normally I won't go to restaurants to eat... The restaurant was cool very classy....the meal cost around RM 20...so it wasn't really that expensive as I first thought it is....the food is quite nice....I ate salmon.....salmon rice and salmon sushi...I love salmon fish I don't know why.....We took a walk around the mall window shopping......then we went out to the concert, only three of us as Renae took off shopping for clothes...she came back for the weekend from her Unversity in Perak and went out with us...it stopped raining when we went out....Power Station a Taiwanese duo started the concert...they have really good voices and well they have been in the industry for 10 years so it isn't a surprised at how good they sang....then came the Malaysian singers from The Superstar show....compared to Power Station they were really very bad...I think they are more to the looks than talent...although they don't really look that good as well.....the ironic thing is that when Power Station started the show it didn't rain but as soon as some really untalented singers come out, it starts to rain....this actually goes on again and again until the end of the concert....There were a few really talented singers in the concert such as Soler, from Macau....very handsome both singers from Soler.....also Gary Chow Ge.....he was amazing....his voice was incredible and he's a Malaysian....very few Malaysian singers have good voices and he is one of them.....I really was awed at his performance....he actually sang My Way, an English duet song alone singing the male part and the female part all by himself...and he really was super super great....then we also have Lin Yu Chong...he was really good too...I like his voice as it is really soothing....we also have Justin, Chak Tin from Hong Kong...he was preety good also....I had a great time under the rain watching the concert although some parts of the concert were spoiled by singers who sang quite badly.....the rain started quite heavily at one moment in the concert and we borrowed an umbrella from a few concert wacthers beside us....at one point we even took the banner advertisement from the concert and shield ourselves from the rain with it....it was pretty stupid and funny I know but it all seems really fun doing that.... when it is time to went back...well it was very jammed....we couldn't even come out of the carpark...we were stuck in a jam at the carpark for almost 45 minutes...everyone wants to go home after the concert and it was really jammed...Imagine being stuck in your car for 45 minutes waiting to get out of the carpark which we only were at the third floor...that's really a long time isn't it...but that's how it is.... It's still raining now...I think it won't stop till tomorrow...hopeful it will stop soon or disaster will happen....