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I miss you all.
I miss the ME then....

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The Poor Cat...

It's weird that I'm writing a post about a cat and super random as well. Oh well, I am random.

And I hated the cat. We shall call it my neighbour's cat.

Ever since my neighbour moved in, they have a yellow stripped cat which looks annoyingly like Garfield.

In fact it is as fat as Garfield. 

Why do I hate it? Personally I'm not really fond of cats especially when I lived in Perlis where the cats can jump onto the table to get a swipe at your food or the cats walking into the hostel like it is their home.

But this cat of my neighbour, it actually jump from the balcony next door to my house, walked through the open glass door and got into the kitchen and ate my mom's Belacan (shrimp paste) bought from Thailand. How scary is that? It's like an intruder into the house. One more thing is when I go out for work and somehow it ran out from his house but ended up coming back to the wrong house into my house and it was sleeping at the door so when I open the door, it looks at me with those scary eyes. Creepy you know. Which is why I hated it.

As much as I hate it, I don't think it deserves the treatment it got. The neighbour used to pamper it and when it ran out from their home, they actually posted a Missing Cat poster at our flats. But when their new baby came, they actually banished it from the home. Can you imagine a homegrown cat suddenly left in the wild. It was huge but it was afraid of cats size smaller than it. It looked silly when I saw the white cat which is smaller than it chasing it. Some aunties do occasionally bring leftover to fed those cats down at my flats and it ended up getting leftovers with the wild cats. Finally after being down there for so long, it became friends with the wild cats haha.

Now apparently some guy kicked it and it got scared and jumped and landed wrongly and died. Poor cat. I feel that the neighbours are so irresponsible for abandoning it. Why get a cat when you will throw it away whenever you want. Aninals are living beings too. If you want to adopt a pet, please take care of your pets. if not, don't bother getting a pet. RIP Ugly Garfield-like cat.

Thoughts...

Thinking          Planning

I realised that with every phase in your life, things change.

Friendship changes, standard changes, attitude changes.

I am resentful of change and I hate to admit it but changes are inevitable. 

I guess is time to let go of some stuff and find myself.

Everyone has their own thing nowadays. I should have mine too.

I don't want to think of someday as something far away. 

I will strive to do my best in the present.

It's time to be the positive me back.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

I'll make it happen. 

Time to plan. ^^

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Pensive night...

A new year, a new beginning, a new journey.

It's March already. How time flies and gone by. Graduation was like 6 months ago. Seems the moment of elation of graduating has pass by to be filled with worries for the future.

Feeling positive tonight. I wonder why? I just feel that way.

I've been feeling sad and happy on and off that I am beginning to feel I suffer from bi-polar disease. =.=

The new job is fine. It might be great for a lot of people. Good pay, good benefits and stable job. I just feel 'fine' fine. I am very thankful for the job offer and the confidence of the manager in me handling the work. I'm however less enthusiastic of the job scope. I imagine I can do this for a certain period of time but not for my entire life. I know what I am capable of and I'm definitely not stupid. Still I'm not satisfied with this kind of living. I keep asking myself am I just taking the easy way out? How confident are you that you will be happy if you changed career? The truth is I will never know until I try it. And I want to. I want to just experience something different for once and see if I can.

I keep asking myself if money is more important than happiness. The answer is however that having money is also a kind of happiness. >.< But money is not everything. Or so I believe.

I have been pondering and wondering for this 6 months on how I want to walked on in life and I still haven't gotten a right answer. I am not very fond of the 'what ifs' but I'm thinking a lot about them lately that it is frustrating me. I've made up my mind and changed them far too often. I have set myself a goal that I'm not sure I will reach but is stubbornly trying to achieve. I always knew I lack courage and determination. So I'm praying for guidance and courage. And pray everything will go as plan (which they 99% of the time never do.) and maybe for once just listen to my heart.

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McFly-ing~~

Recently I've been having a liking,
For a band who's out of this world,
Believe me...

So lately I've been listening to McFly who isn't really a new boyband or group but a famous established pop band formed in 2003. I've actually heard about McFly before because of one song which is All About You. A very nice song which had occupied my playlist on a repeat loop 2 years ago. I've put them to the back of my mind until recently when the wedding speech of one of the McFly member gone viral and he made an awesome speech/song with their number one hits. It was such an amazing speech that I went and look for their songs and discovered I should have listen to them earlier hahaha...better late than never...

'Obviously' is one of my favourite and I've taken a page from Tom Fletcher, their lead vocal and rewrote their lyrics on top. Their new song from last year, Love Is Easy is now my favourite song of the moment. I'm so in love with the song and it is on a repeat mode on my music player and I'm like sharing it over on FB a couple of times. The lyrics are simple but the song is so much fun. Especially love the funny MV. Gotta share this.

The pink ukelele is so cute.

I'm a little obsessed with McFly at the moment and I don't care if practically all of the band members are married or not available. They are HOT and so good-looking and funny. Some people are just so talented and so good-looking...hehehe...Sharing some music which I love and hope you guys enjoy it too. They cheer me up and I hope they cheer you up too.

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Of jobs and careers

Hi. My first 2013 post and I'm always here again blogging about unhappy events :(

I mentioned at the last post  that I'm switching to another job. This job is almost like the 1st one I got. Process mechanical engineer. I guess I should be happy that I'm getting an opportunity that people would grab immediately. Better pay, better company and better future. Unfortunately, I don't feel happy.

I though it was a phase but turns out I was wrong. I went through the whole being miserable stage at the last job and only got cheery after I handed in my resignation. And I'm going through the same thing again. I'm just not committed to making the job my career. The company is bigger and better than the last and I walked until I got lost in the plant when I was going home. But somehow as big as it is, I feel so claustrophobic and panicking the whole time I was there.

I carried a hope thinking I would like working there but I guess it makes me more sure of switching career path. Since it is a contract thingy, so I decided I'm going to try my best to complete this 1 year contract term and stop looking in this career path anymore.

I don't think I'm suited to working in factories. I find it very cold, sterile and enclosing. You know why I think I'm not suited. 1st, I am not committed to spending hours in this job solving problems. 2nd, I can't find the passion and initiative to give more to the job. 3rd, I am not as ambitious as people to go up a higher level and challenge themselves. 4th, I want a stable job that I can still have time to myself and my family. 5th, I'm not looking for a high paid job just one I can be happy in with moderate pay. I can go on and on. I understand there is much pros in working as an engineer and the opportunities to travel and to gain more knowledge but the cons weighs more to me.

I believe eventually I will find the right career for myself but this is not it. I'm sorry to say it and I'm very disappointed with myself for not being tough or strong enough or determined enough but I'm really not suited for this career path. I'm so sorry for being so silly that I'm always so unhappy and I don't want to be that way...I'm done with engineering. I'll finish up this one year and next year hopefully by this time, I can leave for a happier, less stressful job that will make me feel it is worth it to give my commitment too.

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Adieu 2012~~

Today is the last day of 2012. 

31st December 2012.

Ending a year always makes me think back what I have accomplished in a year.

This year I completed my studies and graduated. Bid a tearful goodbye to my studying life and saying a bitter hello to the working life. Learning new things about myself. Discovering my disability to be independent and being too nonsensical and over-emotional.

2012 started well to me with lots of happiness and hope amidst the fear of the unknown. It ended with frustration, regrets, tears and understanding and remembering there's always still hope. 2012 was a year of realisations to me.

2013 is coming in 6 hours. A new year brings forward new challenges and signifies new beginnings. In the year 2013, I will switch to a new job in a new workplace and I'm praying for courage and determination. I'm not expecting things to go smoothly but I'm hoping that things can eventually unravel and have a good end. I hope I can make some changes I want to make successfully and be happy. I hope 2013 will be a year full of happiness and good health to everyone.

Happy New Year everyone...

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